tuesday 9/8

Dear G,
How are you today? Weather was beautiful here all weekend, thanks again! I'm stuck on ego still. Yesterday I was caught up on acceptance (self, worthiness) and today self esteem (more self different day...haha) I use to think that low self-esteem excluded me from the over-inflated club - but, I know now that whether I think  I'm better than everyone or less than everyone..I'm still thinking about ME!! What I'm learning is that if I think about others, do for others, help others...make it about others...my shit won't matter, right? As long as I trust you, clean house and help others my life can't help but get better.
I doubt I tell you this enough - but I trust you! That being said I honestly wonder how much trust I question every minute of every day, because if I truly trust you then I would know that because you love me I am important to you!!! Yet I still worry that you have so many more important things to take care of, things that really need your attention and that I should be able to deal with my tiny inconsequential problems and I don't want to trouble you! It's like I don't have faith that you can handle it ALL!! You the ultimate multi-tasker! Please believe that I am trying to expand my faith and trust.

As always,
M