complacency 9/22

Dear G,
Today I was feeling a little complacent. Oops my bad...thank you for helping me make it through today. I'm trying to stay active in my life, trying to remember to be thankful for what gifts I've gotten. I'm listening more to what message I think you send to me in whatever form it seems to take. Thank you for my eyesight. Thanks for saving me from some fucked up crazy end...drunk driving or OD'ing on some high...right? I'm so grateful to be alive today.
It's weird isn't it, or funny or something, (well maybe not to you) that the simple act of being grateful for what I have removes barriers that might normally get in my way of peace. Suddenly my complacency is barely a memory. Of course having ADHD and more than a couple burned out brain cells helps, right? It's a simple act, remembering gratitude, and then poof...so many other things don't matter.
I don't think I mentioned I spoke to Terri the other day. It's great she gets to do something she really loves and is excited about doing. She really sounds happy (hey T) and I bet she's really good at sharing what she knows...thanks for helping her find her niche! She's a good woman and I'm real grateful I get to have her in my life...she seems to get me or at least lets me know she loves me unconditionally...which is very cool!
I've been doing some research into a different ADHD med which is speed based. The strattera just doesn't seem to be doing the job. I drift off still in the middle of conversation, I don't feel any more motivated than when I don't take it and so I'm going to talk to Dr Cox to see what he thinks. He might feel hesitant about me trying one of the speed based alternatives but I liked barbs and sedatives anything that would slow me down so that I could think...so much goes on in my head at one time it can be overwhelming! Anyway I've talked to my sponsor, my roommates, and I'm talking about it at meetings too. I'm not afraid that I'll go crazy but if you have an opinion feel free to weigh in :)
Well I think I'm going to read for a bit. Thanks for being there with me today, sorry if I ignored ya a couple minutes when I was getting pissy about work stuff...it was real insignificant I know. Thanks for loving me so much!
x
Monty