sunday 10/11

Dear G,
Thank you for reminding me that I have stay vigilant against my addiction. I sometimes forgot that I'm not cured...it's times like that I let my guard down and in walks my disease, all bright and shiny. It's weird it doesn't walk in as the beat up gutter version that was with me at the end. In fact, it walks in as a version I don't usually recognize. Like grandiosity or intolerance...it strolls in and points out my entitlement or my stupidity. Usually if I have been hanging tight with you it doesn't begin to have a chance to find a way in...but I find that I have to stay in touch with you everyday to maintain. If not I get all fucked up in the head...the squirrels start racing around, I get crazy, act out, spend money or whatever...generally I behave in a way that I have to make amends for later on...Oi vay!

I want to take a moment to say something about Richard. Please give him all your love today, help him to find serenity. Help him to laugh at himself and to be a true friend to those around him. Protect him from his addiction and those that might harm him. Help him to find financial peace. Teach him how to love himself and understand that he is a beautiful man.
Thanks for loving me so much, help me to be a good sponsor to Eric. I'm trying to understand how I feel about Frank and hope you can give me some guidance on how to proceed.
Have a great day!
Love you
Monty